Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
