this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
