sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
