Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
