look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
