carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
