clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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