So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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