you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
