Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
