go do what you do best...puke behind churches
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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