So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
