the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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