just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
