i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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