Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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