Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
