literally had 100 drinks last night.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
