dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
