my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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