Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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