i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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