I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
