need another drink. this is the easiest way
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have post one night stand depression
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
