Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
