never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
