the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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