So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
