i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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