can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
