I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
