I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize