I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
