I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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