Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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