forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How does one acquire holy water?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
