well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
