Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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