i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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