I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
