I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize