garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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