Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
