i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
