Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
