jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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