Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
