remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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