woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
