Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
