mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
