what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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