So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
