There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
