Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
