Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
