i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
