I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
