K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
